Scott's Edition 33: Rudy Roundup

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May 2, 2021

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The Name Behind the News

May 2, 2021

Edition 33: Rudy Roundup

Happy May! This month has one of the most exciting beginnings with "May the 4th be with you," Cinco de Mayo, and the exact date and time of 5/6 7:89. What a time to be alive.

On a separate note, I'd like to welcome Morganne A. and Dave P. to the Edition. I'm looking forward to wasting four minutes of your life once a week. With that, let's dive into this week's news!

Weekly Poll: Which of the following faces do you make when you're on the John?

Weekly Stats

# of vaccine doses administered in the U.S.

243.46 million, ↑ 14.8 million since last week

Share of the U.S. population fully vaccinated

30.9%, ↑ 2.6% since last week

# of astronauts on the International Space Station earlier this week

# of people allowed at in-person meetings at my company

Days until next week

7, ↓ 7 since last week

Although we'll have warm weather in Richmond this week, we'll also face a few thunderstorms. As a wise man once said, "The storm of life is but a drop in the proverbial fish bowl!" And by, "wise man," I mean the homeless dude with a bible on the corner of Broad and Boulevard.

Week in Review

Biden's Pride: During President Biden's address to Congress this week, he welcomed "Madame Vice President" Harris and then followed up with, "No President has ever said those words from this podium, and it's about time." The 78 year old white male President then patted himself on the back for officially ending sexism.

Cruz Snooze: When the cameras panned to Texas Senator Ted Cruz during the address to Congress, he appeared to be dozing off. In all fairness to Cruz, watching a speech about reasoned public policy initiatives is much less interesting than a night out in Cancun while your home state suffers an ice storm.

CDC Guidance: The CDC issued revised guidance this week for how fully vaccinated people should act. While mingling with other fully vaxed folks indoors is now allowed, the CDC also suggested that, when in public, vaccinated people still stay 6 feet away from people they don't live with and avoid medium or large sized gatherings. So, basically I'm back to doing what I did before the pandemic!

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Rudy Roundup

Federal agents raided Rudy Giuliani's apartment on Wednesday as part of an investigation into his business dealings in Ukraine. Most news outlets have been unable to ascertain a list of the items seized in the raid. But, Scott's Edition isn't most news outlets. We procured a copy of the confiscation log and have highlighted some of the most intriguing items below.

Description: One (1) MAGA hat.

Purpose: To show support for the former host of The Apprentice.

Value: $14.99, Amazon.com.

Description: Twenty three (23) Post-It Notes placed throughout the apartment with, "You are America's Mayor" written in crayon.

Purpose: A reminder as the dementia sets in.

Value: $0.67, Office Depot.

Description: Seven (7) boxes of condoms expiring June 27th, 1975; unopened.

Purpose: A poor attempt at halting the spread of disinformation.

Cost: $143.06, CVS.

Description: One (1) small child named "Bucky" handcuffed to the radiator.

Purpose: Unknown.

Cost: $1,400, Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport.

Description: One (1) dolphin.

Porpoise: Correct.

Cost: The readership of several Scott's Edition subscribers who hate stupid puns.

Spot the Difference - NFL Draft Edition

Image 01

Image 02

Hint: They may be the same shape, but they're different!

Comics Described

Artists get all the credit for a good comic strip, but I think it’s the writing that really makes or breaks them. To really focus on the writing, I’ve removed those pesky cartoons and will simply explain the comic strip. I think this will create a much more enjoyable experience for the reader.

John Deering for May 02, 2021

We have a single panel cartoon today. Two elephants are looking at their phones as they stand outside the White House fence. One of them states, "The American Families Plan, the Infrastructure, and COVID relief... Big Deal. How many tweets has Biden sent in his first 100 days?!"

LOL! It's funny because elephants think a President's worth is determined based on social media usage! Aren't elephants stupid?!?

Thanks for reading!

And congrats to Lauren Scott (a member of the Scott Hall of Fame) on graduating this weekend! You are now a master!

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﻿The Name Behind the News

Weekly Stats﻿

﻿Week in Review﻿

﻿﻿Comics Described

The Name Behind the News

Weekly Stats

Week in Review

Comics Described