Scott's Edition 34: Bye Bye Masks

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May 16, 2021

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The Name Behind the News

May 16, 2021

Edition 34: Bye Bye Masks

Happy Holiday! I am, of course, referring to National Mimosa Day. So, throw on some boat shoes, button up your polo, and slip into some salmon colored Chinos. It's never too late for brunch. With that bubbly start to the Edition, let's dive into this week's news!

Weekly Stats

# of vaccine doses administered in the U.S.

270.83 million, ↑ 13.5 million since last week

Share of the U.S. population fully vaccinated

36.4%, ↑ 2.7% since last week

# of NFL rosters that Colin Kaepernick has been on in the past 4 years

# of NFL rosters that Tim Tebow has been on in the past 4 years

# of masks required in most public spaces

0, ↓ 1 since last week

Like President Biden's confusing mask announcement, Richmond is getting some heat. We'll see temps in the 90s by the end of the week. Looks like our three weeks of spring are over.

Week in Review

No More Masks: A maskless President Biden announced to the country that, per CDC recommendations, face masks are no longer required when in most public spaces. A Scott's Edition insider caught up with Biden afterward to learn that the announcement was a cover up because he forgot his mask that day. It was in the freezer next to his car keys.

No More Masks: Movie critics expect that, without a mask requirement, the DC Comic movies might finally get good. On the other hand, many of the Avengers who have been anti-mask for years are still refusing to get vaccinated. "I'm nervous about its affect on my body," stated Bruce Banner.

No More Masks: Now that Republicans can't criticize Democrats for mandating how people treat their own bodies, they can go back to criticizing Democrats for not mandating how people treat their own bodies.

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The Origin of Words

The world is becoming more and more divided. I believe that a lack of communication is the primary reason for this trend. In an effort to start speaking the same language, I'd like to dive into the origin of some common expressions. With this knowledge in hand, I'm confident we can start to bridge the gap.

Dumb as a Rock

First Usage: This phrase was first used in the late 1980s in New England, though the original meaning was different. Critics of George H.W. Bush's plan to start the Gulf War started referring to other things as, "Dumb as Iraq."

Evolution: Southerners adopted the phrase, but with their relaxed accents turned the saying into the one we know today.

Archaic Usage in a Sentence: "Man, signing Tim Tebow when he hasn't played in the NFL in six years is stupid. The Jaguars are dumb as Iraq."

Back to the Drawing Board

First Usage: Though the wording hasn't changed since this saying's first use in the 1500s, its meaning has flipped entirely. Leonardo da Vinci used this phrase in response to critics who suggested he make edits to his artwork. He refused and would literally turn his back to the drawing board.

Evolution: As the saying was translated into English in the 1600s, the British began using the phrase in its modern format, meaning to continue to work on something.

Archaic Usage in a Sentence:

"All of these fossil fuels are really hurting the environment, but I'm up for reelection this year and fixing things would be expensive for the tax payers. What should I do."

"You should go back to the drawing board."

"You mean I should ignore the problem? I agree. Thanks for your help!"

That's the Last Straw

First Usage: Originally, this phrase referenced a camel carrying straw. Even though straw isn't heavy, eventually an additional piece of straw will break the camel's back. The expression is used to refer to someone's patience running out because of a series of minor annoyances.

Evolution: Today, the saying has lost much of it's meaning and is used more literally.

Modern Usage in a Sentence:

"Hi, I'd like to order a soda."

"Sure thing. Here you go. You're lucky you arrived when you did, because that's the last straw."

Mega Douche

First Usage: Although French obstetrician Maurice Eguisier invented the first douche in 1843, the plus-sized model of the female health instrument wasn't released until seven years later.

Evolution: Over time, the term changed from a purely scientific description to slang for someone that's terrible.

Modern Usage in a Sentence:

"Did you see what Marjorie Taylor Greene did to Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez? She's such a douche."

"I disagree."

"You do?!"

"Yeah. I think she's more of a mega douche."

Where's Waldo?

Answer Below

Comics Described

Artists get all the credit for a good comic strip, but I think it’s the writing that really makes or breaks them. To really focus on the writing, I’ve removed those pesky cartoons and will simply explain the comic strip. I think this will create a much more enjoyable experience for the reader.

Free Range by Bill Whitehead for May 16, 2021

We have a single panel cartoon today. There is a moving truck with the company name, "Two Dudes and a Truck" on the side. It's parked on a street in the suburbs. The homeowner looks at a clipboard and explains to the two movers, "The child's bed frame goes upstairs, first room on the left." The two movers are carrying a bed frame on its side. We can clearly see a green, three-eyed monster hiding in the bottom of the bed.

What a clever gag! You know, because children are scared of monsters under their bed, but adults always tell them they aren't real!

Where's Waldo Answer: He's in Russia, hacking into the Colonial Pipeline!

Thanks for reading! And welcome back (temporarily) to Richmond, Jake and Sydney!

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﻿The Name Behind the News

Weekly Stats﻿

﻿Week in Review﻿

﻿﻿Comics Described

The Name Behind the News

Weekly Stats

Week in Review

Comics Described